Ponderings of becoming a mother....

One more day of work and then Peggy and I are off to Guatemala to meet Evvy/Evita for the first time. It is still so surreal. I am worrying myself to death about details and about how I feel.

I still really can't imagine how my life is going to change when she finally comes home with me forever. Forever is such a long time. I am such a control freak that I don't like uncertainty and there is so much uncertainty in parenthood. I think of all the details about medical care, shopping, day care, juggling work and my daughter, finances, etc, etc, etc. When I think of those things I get a little overwhelmed. But then I think about cuddling up on the couch with her, watching her smile at me; waking up to her outstretched arms; singing to her; going to the park; taking walks; watching her and her best friend Erica play while Peggy and I sit back and watch them in amazement and awe.

I know I am doing the right thing and that there will be ups and downs. I know that my life will be better and hope and pray that Evvy's life will be better.

I have been very lucky to have email communication with Evvy's foster family so I have an idea of her schedule and routine.

**She likes her bottle warm (many in Guatemala take them cold)
**She takes 3 bottles in the morning; 2 in the afternoon and her last one before bed at 8pm. She takes 5-6 ounces at a time.
**When she takes her night bottle well, she sleeps til 8am otherwise she is up at 5-6! (I am hoping for good night time bottles!)
**She takes 2 naps a day (1st one after her morning bath)
**She loves to be talked to while you play with her. She likes the baby-doll I sent down to talk to her.

I am attaching the following picture with a little hesitation. It is definitely not the cutest, most flattering picture of my girl but, oh well. She is well loved and fed.

I will try to post once or twice while in Guatemala and will definitely post when I get home (after I catch my breath). We fly out Thursday afternoon and home on Tuesday night. Then it is back to work on Wednesday.

Susan